Just friends (trying to imitate a light-magazine article)

Your relationship is over and, as always, it comes The Question: do you want to have a "friendship" or not.
A first tip if you are going to have a friendship after spliting up: you are not allow to talk about the relationship. If you do it, this person will keep being your ex, and not your "new friend". Off course there are always some open questions: did you ever love me?, why did you do this or that to me?, why didn't you tell me that ...?, why am I not your type?, etc. This could be allowed to be asked, but only years later, when you both have already forgotten how much did it hurt, or when you both have someone else and it is quite saved to address this topic.
The next point is WHEN to start this "friendship": next day, month, year?... My experience is that it really depends on the type of person that you are. Usually one needs time and space to realize that one is alone again, so the best is to wait at least some months.
If you are one of those that hates people easily, you need probably years. If you still have strong feelings, don't try a friendship, bad idea. If you were the one hurt, wait till the other try to get closer again or till you have somebody else (recommended). If you were the one that did hurt the other, wait until the other has a new person. If you both decided nicely to split up, you may think that the way to a friendship will be easy, but it is usually not, you are probably both so suffocated of each other that it will be impossible to start something new inmediately.
Actually it is by far easier to let it go without doing anything, to take this person out of your life. But don't give up if you really want your ex to become your friend, it may work.

If you want to find out if it is already time to move your counters try this test!

Am i ready to become the friend of my ex?

1. When you meet your ex:
a. You feel like crying, partly sad and partly angry because things didn't work.
b. You feel happy and with a lot of things to say, it is still not comfortable, but your bad feelings are gone.
c. You feel like not saying anything at all.


2. Imaging to see them with a new girl/boy at the cinema, you
a. Would wave your hand and past by.
b. Would hide yourself somewhere in order not to meet them face to face.
c. Would approach full of curiosity. You wouldn't mention that you are actually their ex.


3. They ask you to go to the cinema, but this day you have something already planed.
a. You tell them that you'd like to come, but you have something planed, maybe another day.
b. You tell them you can't, without mentioning any possible future encounter.
c. You cancel your plans and go to the movies with them.


4. Your common friends have planned a BBQ, you know that your ex is going to be there.
a. You do not go and don't excuse yourself either.
b. You wear super sexy and ask a good looking friend to come with, in order to make them feel jealous.
c. You go and have fun with your friends, trying also to chat with them.


5. Your mobile rings and you see that it is your ex who is calling.
a. You are completely nervous, trying to find out what to say if they mentions THE WORD.
b. You answer calmly and happy that they are calling you again.
c. You don't answer, and remember to erase their number.


6. They tell a common friend that they thought that you were the love of their live.
a. You tell your common friend that you don't wanna hear anything about them.
b. You think immediately about the possibility of asking him to come back.
c. You feel happy that you were meaningful for them, but don't take the comment that seriously.

Score
1. a. 4, b. 2, c. 0
2. a. 0, b. 4, c. 2
3. a. 2, b. 0, c. 4
4. a. 0, b. 4, c. 2
5. a. 4, b. 2, c. 0
6. a. 0, b. 4, c. 2

0 to 8
Maybe you are still upset or it is just that you feel that there is nothing to talk about with your ex. Clearly you don't have any need to see them or to talk to them, and without that, there is no sense to start a friendship. I am already surprise that you are doing this test, maybe you think that you should be their friend because of your common friends, politeness or because this is your policy. Don't stresst out, let it go.

8 to 16
You have nice feelings about them, simpathy and affection are still there, and this is neccesary for a friendship too. You are ready to start again, probably you are also ready for a new relationship with somebody else.

16 to 24
You are not really thinking about a friendship, you want them back. If they hasn't shown the same interest, take distance or this will be quite painful for you. In your case, i would do everything to avoid them, block them in the msn, erase their phone number, avoid the common events, let yourself look at other people and forget about your feelings.